Here is your bonus:
"Back-to-School Survival Pack:
Why Is My Child So Difficult?"
(You requested it from AdhdParentingTips.com.)
------------------------------------------------
My sincere thanks to those of you who have taken
the time to write me about how these parenting
tips are improving your child's behavior.
What rang through loud and clear is that thousands
of parents just like you have been struggling
with angry and difficult children...
Clinging to the slippery cliffs of survival.
And praying for someone to throw you a rescuing
rope of relief.
It hurts... When a mother says her angry
toddler left bruises on her face.
When a father admits that he's ashamed of his
disrespectful daughter...
It really hurts.
==============================================
However, it thrills me to no end when you share
with me your successes.
A father wrote to me recently from the United
Kingdom. He says:
"I'll be honest, I'm absolutely floored by your
second email, the one about whispering, which we
got yesterday.
"I tried it this morning on our 8-year-old son and
it worked straightaway, like some kind of magic
just as you'd said. And it's worked a few times
since, too.
"And it's hard not to get too excited, but the past
six years have been such a struggle that you really
hang on to these things.
"And it really did work. Seriously. I can't say this
strongly enough. And so it made me wonder what else
you had to say."
==================================================
Let's give this loving father a round of applause
for practicing what he has learned.
That's what it takes to help your child.
I remember watching in wonder as these simple
methods worked their magic on my son.
He went from hateful and disrespectful to more
loving and respectful.
As long as I kept up my part of the bargain,
family harmony warmed our home.
That may seem far away to you now.
===============================================
The same father also wrote:
"Is there some paid-for stuff at the end? If
so I'd rather just get on with it because every
day counts and we're struggling!"
In case you're wondering the same thing, I'm a
few weeks away from offering you a tool to
accelerate your progress with your child.
Until then, I'm just going to keep giving you this
priceless information for fr^ee.
That's how I plan to bring you relief as
fast as possible.
===============================================
Many parents have asked me how to get their
children to school on time.
I have at least 30 messages here from folks
complaining that they can't even get their kids
out of bed in the mornings.
Here's what you need to know first.
===============================================
Why Your Parent-Child Relationship Got Off Track.
(For the remainder of this message, I'll refer to
your child as male to simplify this explanation.)
Ideally, your parent-child relationship is a living
and pulsating connection between you and your child.
Your relationship with your child is suffering
because you no longer feel a strong positive
emotional connection with him.
What was built during his tiny years has been
damaged by your reactions to his difficult symptoms
and by his reactions to your reactions.
He's forgetting how he once relied on you. And
you're forgetting how you once cherished him.
You've been living on a battlefield of reactions,
and your parent-child relationship is bruised.
It probably isn't the only relationship that has
suffered from this warfare.
================================================
You're safe now.
================================================
When your child was younger, you usually knew how
to help him when he was hungry, tired, or sick.
Now, he's growing up and things are getting
complicated.
His out-of-control behavior makes you jump to react.
When your reactions don't meet his needs, he acts
out his hurt, rejection, disappointment, and anger
with abusive words and clenched fists.
If you don't understand ADHD (attention-deficit/
hyperactivity disorder) and ODD (oppositional
defiant disorder), you don't know how to meet
his needs.
That's why it seems that no matter what you do,
your actions only make matters worse.
=================================================
You need to reconnect emotionally to your child.
When you learn to express your feelings appropriately
and teach him to do the same, you'll begin to rebuild
your relationship.
=================================================
Please listen closely.
================================================
The secret to rebuilding your relationship and
ending your pain is to use feeling words to express
yourself honestly and validate your child's feelings
sensitively.
For example, if your child paces around looking bored,
you can say, "Son, you're acting bored. You're probably
lonely because Jimmy can't play today. (Pause for his
response.) Would a project in your room or workshop
make you happy?"
================================================
You may find it handy to post the following list of
feeling words where you'll see it and practice often.
Feeling Words
Positive Feeling > Progressing in intensity to
Opposite or Negative Feeling
Confident > Shy, Confused, Helpless, Hysterical
Proud > Embarrassed, Ashamed, Arrogant
Relieved, Successful > Bored, Nervous, Excited,
Frustrated, Discouraged, Disappointed, Irritated,
Pressured, Aggressive, Angry, Enraged
Joyful, Happy > Joyless, Sorry, Sad, Depressed,
Heartbroken
Content > Worried, Anxious, Frightened, Hurt
Innocent > Guilty, Apologetic
Grateful > Disapproving, Disgusted, Rejected,
Resentful, Envious, Jealous
Loving, Loved, Kind, Passionate > Withdrawn, Hateful,
Indifferent, Lonely, Homesick
Affectionate, Helpful > Stubborn, Surprised, Shocked
Curious, Enthusiastic, Hopeful, Determined > Lazy,
Exhausted, Hopeless, Depleted
=================================================
Practice diligently what you have learned here.
And, Visitor, enjoy the relief of knowing
you're on the right path to a happier life with
your child.
Thank you for allowing me to participate in this
important turning point in your life with your child.
Please write me with your questions and concerns.
Your feedback helps me serve you better.
Sincerely yours in parenting success,
Debra Sale Wendler
http://www.AdhdParentingTips.com
PS. Be on the lookout for more tips coming soon.
=========================================
You're receiving this message because you requested
parenting tips from http://www.AdhdParentingTips.com.
Please feel fr^ee to pass it on to friends and family.
If a friend or family member passed this along to you,
*you* can get your own copy of this report at:
http://www.AdhdParentingTips.com.
=========================================
Respect Effect® Publishing, Inc.
5114 Balcones Woods Drive, Suite 307 Austin, TX 78759
Please write me at DSW@AdhdParentingTips.com and share
with me your thoughts, questions, and ideas. I read
every message every day.
Or call Monday through Friday at (866) 982-4440
from 8 a.m. to 12 noon and 1 p.m. to 5 p.m.
Central Time.
==========================================
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=============================================
Please allow these truths to help you and your
child feel more successful. Denial and
procrastination will only make matters worse.
If you understand the above and (even though the
following action is instant and permanent)...
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