InSights - Volume 5 Issue 6

						InSights - formerly "The Czar Report" By Gerry Czarnecki	Volume V Issue 6
		SECTION I – Loving is not always the easy way
		When was the last time you really got angry? I mean, "fighting mad." Rather recently? Was it at work? Was it with one of your associates? Did you lose it and say something that, in retrospect, you wish you had not done? Have you been experiencing "guilt feeling" ever since? If you have never had this happen to you, then you are either are very "laid back" or very controlled. Candidly, I am neither. Indeed, when I was a very young manager, I made this mistake many times, and each time, I swore to myself it would never happen again, and yet it did. No doubt, as a young man, I had a bit of a "short fuse", and all too frequently, I would lose it when somebody did something really "out of line." I am not making excuses for myself, this was unacceptable behavior, but somehow I managed to lose it infrequently enough that it did not seriously damage my ability to function effectively as a manager in the organization. That, however, was when I started to get the clear message that, as a manager, I got away with it because I was the boss, and the staff could not do much about it. What I did not realize, until later, was that I may have "gotten away with" that behavior, but it was also quite clear that I was not being effective as a leader. Given that failing, there is no doubt that I paid the price during those early years of being more feared than respected. Clearly, the people who worked for me read that behavior as a reflection of how I felt about them. They suspected, and frankly they may have been correct, that I was more interested in results than in them. There is no doubt that I was achieving some pretty aggressive goals. By that time in my career, I had gotten the reputation as a crisis manager. Indeed, virtually every job was a "fire fight." Not just change agent, but fireman. I was assigned all of the true managerial crises. These were big operating messes, where there were frequently more mistakes made in a day, than there were correct transactions processed. During that time as a crisis manager, I coined what I termed the "point and shoot" style of management. I rationalized this style because I likened the problems to that of being in war. There was no time for dissention on the battlefield, action and obedience was required. This was defined as: I point at you to do something. You either do it, or I "shoot" you. Obviously the "shoot" was a euphemism for "you are fired." I became known for being the tough guy who cleaned up disasters, and frankly, I was a tough guy…so tough that most people would run from a job if they saw me being assigned to their unit. Ironically, during that time, I fired virtually nobody, but people quit easily when they realized that they were not able to meet the standards set by the "point and shoot" guy. Well, I had six of those assignments in a period of five years and there is no doubt that I had created a real reputation for toughness. That said, however, in the last assignment of that series, I encountered a person who was not fearful of me, and who stood up and refused to be "shot." Instead, she quit on the spot when "ordered" to do something that she thought was unreasonable. The tragedy of that event was that I was tired, she was tired and when I "lost it," I lost the best employee I had. This was a real gestalt for me. I went home that night (actually morning), and never really slept, even though I was truly exhausted. My mind was racing and I simply could not get that woman out of my mind. I went in the next day and spent half the day trying to convince her to stay, but to no avail. She was gone. That loss changed my thinking, almost overnight. I came to realize that I was being far to "tough" and convinced myself that I had to change. Deciding to change was the easy part. Actually changing, was yet another agonizing story. I knew I needed to be different, but learning how to behave differently, was more than I knew how to do on my own. It was there that my mentor took over. I have written before about how I had the great fortune of working for a man early in my career who was truly a leader of human beings. When I realized I needed to change, I talked to him about what I was trying to do, and it was through my sessions with him that I realized that I had lost something of myself in my ambition to achieve results. What I misplaced was my humanity and, in turn, my ability to relate to my associates with that humanity. I had spent so much time learning what I now call the "mechanics of management" that I forgot that I was leading people. Or at least I should have been leading people. What I was doing was driving people, not leading them. Without being to philosophical, I had lost a piece of my soul. I had drifted into ambition, and process, and lost the touch with the humans. I had lost…Love. Years before I had read a phenomenally inspirational book, The Art of Loving, by Eric Fromm, and that book had engulfed me in the passion of a loving relationship with my wife, but more importantly, it had inspired me to be a loving person. Meaning, I wanted to Love all humans, not just my wife. That message resonated with me, and it was a profoundly important part of my development. Unfortunately, my drive to achieve organizational success had taken that inspiration, and had buried it deep inside my subconscious mind. Well, this series of experiences convinced me to reopen my eyes to the concept of love of humanity, and I began reading all I could get my hands on about the subject. More importantly, I started to remember how good it felt when I did love; and when I was loved. Once I found that feeling again, I started to reconnect with the associates around me. I did not realize it at the time, but my passion for what has become Lead with Love™ was forming. It did not happen overnight, and frankly, the metamorphosis continues to this day. Learning how to "Love" everybody who we call our associates, is not an easy process. There is no doubt that I still experience challenges with associates who fail to behave or achieve in ways that I think are appropriate, but I simply do not "lose it" anymore. I am not certain when I made the final change in my own "internal behavior," but that change has happened. I know that it took me a long time, and it was not e! asy. Not that it is difficult to Love others; but it can be very difficult to love enough to behave in a way that will help them to achieve rather than in a way that satisfies my emotions. Today, I can be tough with a failing staff member, but that toughness comes from the core of love, not from my emotional "anger." My anger would reflect a personal pain, not the messaging that is needed to help an associate find the way to success. I may "punish" an associate, but not because I am angry, but because I want that associate to change behavior. I may reward an associate for phenomenal performance, not because I feel good about that success which obviously will inure to my benefit; but rather because I want to reinforce that behavior in my associate so that they can achieve further success. This transformation has been a life changing process and has not been without setbacks. I truly believe that I Love humans, but even so, I make mistake on occasion because I let my own emotions influence my responsibilities to them. As people "In Charge," we must focus on that role of leader first. If we fail to Love our associates, we will fail them, not just ourselves. Our professional duty is to the organization's goals; our moral and ethical duty is to the humans who are there to achieve those goals. Without their hearts and minds being committed, they will fail, and so will we. As I have said, every day I find myself challenged to find ways to be a boss practicing Lead with Love™. There are times when I struggle to love my associates enough to make certain that my behavior is constructive to their success and there are indeed times when I must exercise my authority to decide that an associate can not achieve success in my organization. Each of us must work every day to be certain that we can take either of those actions and execute them with Love. SECTION II – Mini Case Study Taylor is about to be promoted to Manager of Accounts Payable at a large regional retailer and she is feeling serious "mixed emotions." Obviously, she is excited about the prospect of a significant promotion and her enthusiasm is enhanced by the fact that she really believes that she make a huge difference in the job. On the other hand, Taylor is actually almost petrified about the new job, because she is concerned about how she feels about some of her current fellow workers who will soon be members of her management team. This anxiety is based on her extended experience with several of her co-workers. Indeed, a couple of them have been so frustrating to Taylor, that they have clearly gone on to her "I do not like them list." This has meant that she has related to them in a very distant and strained relationship. This promotion is going to put her into an immediately uncomfortable situation because it is also her perception that they are part of the problem with the performance shortfalls in the unit. Having to go from virtually no conversation with these individuals to doing her job as their boss has Taylor truly stressed and unable to come up with a simple solution. In the face of all this internal conflict, one of these associates, during the last couple of days has been unusually difficult to work with, while the other has behaved in virtually the exact opposite manner by reaching out to Taylor to be helpful. Taylor is convinced, however, that this behavior is anything but sincere and that this person is simply playing the "politically smart" game. She has no confidence in the sustainability of this behavior, and indeed actually resents the game that he is playing. The day is fast approaching when Taylor will assume her new role, and each day that goes by, she has gotten more concerned about the outcome. The Analysis: Obviously, Taylor is experiencing a real life problem that many new managers have faced when assuming responsibility for a unit in which they have worked as a co-worker. In this case, the problem is seriously impacting what should be an exciting time for Taylor. On the other hand, Taylor is also suffering from a common form of leadership challenge; she dislikes, even distrusts, a couple of people who are about to become associates for whom she has responsibility. This is a serious condition which will eventually cause her and the organization a good deal of pain and frustration. Taylor must accept the fact that she is the problem. Yes, her attitude towards those associates is the problem. They could be the worst or best performers in the unit, but Taylor's perception of them and her dislike of them will ultimately make it impossible for her to be an effective leader of them and perhaps even the entire unit. Taylor must search for Love, and she must adjust her behavior. There is almost no way that she can continue to dislike these two without negatively impacting their performance. If she continues to dislike them, then she will continue to judge them harshly, perhaps even unfairly. If she tries to "sublimate" her dislike, then she may actually attempt to compensate so much in her relationship with them that they will be held to a very low standard. Taylor must reach down inside and evaluate her ability to love these associates first; and judge them second. The dislike must be replaces with love...not like. Her job is to help the entire unit achieve the goals of that unit and to help each person in the unit to achieve their very best, while working in a climate that makes work enjoyable and rewarding. Only when Taylor works with them, coming from a place of love, will they be able to benefit from her leadership. This is a tough situation, and if Taylor does not change her own thinking, it is likely that either Taylor will fail, or the two associates will be terminated for failure. That could be the correct result, but it can not be because Taylor did not like them. It must be because they failed to meet the goals and expectations of the unit. SECTION III – TIPS on How to Lead with Love ™ Not easy, but try thinking of these: · Think of your associates as your responsibility, not as resources · Try to remember that these associates are humans, not just "factors of production." · Imagine yourself in their shoes, that is, imagine working for you. · Think of your associates as your "children," not because you will treat them as immature, but that you will care for them because they are special. Humans are special, and we owe each human the chance to feel and be special. · Each time you want to criticize, or give negative feedback to your associates, remember the last time your boss did that to/for you. How did he do it? Was it with love, or was it with insensitivity? Irrespective of what actually happened, how did you feel? · Did you love your parents? Do they love you? Try to remember the first time you can remember being disciplined. How did it feel? What did they do? Would you have handled it differently? Any lesson you can learn from that which you can apply to your workplace? · Who was your best boss? What made her the best? Did she love you? Did you know that, or did she tell you? Did she ever reprimand you? Did it hurt? Was it effective? What made it so? · Have you ever had somebody who worked with who you could tolerate being in the room alone for more than a few minutes? Did that continue for long? How did your relationship end? SECTION IV - ASK GERRY From : Cindy I am the President of a small manufacturing company in the Midwest. I have 150 employees and seven direct report managers. All but one of those has been with me for almost ten years. That one, joined us 6 months ago, and frankly, has not fit in. I have tried everything in my experience to get this person to achieve results and at the same time become a member of the leadership team. Nothing has worked, and candidly, I have read many of your newsletters and I have done everything I have read, plus some other ideas of my own, and nothing has worked. I have had at least seven counseling session with him, I have done spot appraisals, I have rewarded the few successes, and I have made certain he knows precisely what the job is with what I believe to be very clear expectations. Not only has this person failed at almost every turn, this person has alienated the rest of the team. Almost every one of them has come to me and complained about his performance and his lack of teamwork. Many believe that he is dishonest, he blames others for his mistakes and that he has yet to work with any of them to help or be helped. I have a silent revolution going on in the company, and I am really frustrated with my senior management. This man comes with great credentials and I do not understand why it is not working. What can I do? Gerry: I do not often give a simple, short answer, but, there may be something you could do to change the person, but it sounds pretty clear to me that this person has failed, and your team is basically saying: we can not work with him and we do not understand why you put up with it. Frankly, I think they are right. If you have truly done all you say; it is probably time to say the "terminate" words. Also, you owe that to your loyal staff. Here, you need to love the staff, and not let your attempt at helping the individual damage the quality team members you have assembled. Time to cut your losses, and move on.
		In Transition
		In this issue, of what was been previously called the Czar Report, we are beginning the transition to a new name and an interim format for our monthly Newsletter. We are redesigning the layout and will be adding substantial content changes. I fully expect that the new format will be implemented by the fourth quarter at the latest. During the third quarter, we will begin a new weekly newsletter which will be much shorter and will provide a weekly look at current issues. This newsletter will also provide you with information on some of our other publications, consulting and seminar activities.

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