Organized to Succeed at Home

Dear Visitor,
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Organized to Succeed
Circulation 2,400
Vol. 2 Number 17- February 28, 2008
Publisher: Christi Youd Christi@OrganizeEnterprise.com

http://www.OrganizeEnterprise.com

(C) Organize Enterprise LLC
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IN THIS ISSUE
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1. Raising Responsibly Independent Children

2. Guidelines for helping with Homework.

3. Habit of the week.

4. Websites for Getting Organized

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1. Raising Responsibly Independent Children
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With today's article I want to address the importance of raising
responsibly independent children and how that impacts the
productivity of every member of the family.

Responsible independence means that a child lives to the full
capacity of what they are capable of managing on their own.
They are as independent as they can be in caring for themselves.
They are as independent as it is responsible for them to be.
In other words if it is something they can do for themselves
than they do it for themselves.

NOTE: Make sure you hear me. Your child should not be left
to care for themselves if it puts their lives or someone else's
life in danger. A parent always needs to keep in mind the safety
of the child. Now that I've made that clear let us continue.

What are your responsibilities as a parent? To bring a child
into the world and do all you can to help them grow into a
thriving adult. A thriving adult is a capable adult. A thriving
adult is self reliant, has faith in his own abilities, and has
learned the skills that will help him perform well on his own.
He is able to make wise decisions and has a work ethic that will
take him far in life. How do you expect a child to become a
thriving adult if they are not practicing all throughout their
childhood? Of course a child's capabilities expand as they grow
older and they should only be required to do what they are truly
capable of but don't make the mistake of assuming your kids are
not capable of doing things on their own when they really are.
Some parents just procrastinate having their children face
negative consequences for their decisions by managing their
children's lives for them or by rescuing their children when
the child fails to make choices that create positive consequences.
How do you expect your children to learn if it is not through
their own experiences? If they can not practice and learn on
little things while they are young how are they going to handle
choices and accountability when they are older. Its not going
to happen magically overnight at the time they turn 19 years of
age. Their development has to take place all along the way.
The more they get to practice their responsible independence as
a child the more responsibly independent and capable they will
be (as a child and as an adult).

To determine whether or not you are raising responsibly independent
children ask yourselves the following questions.

Do your kids make sure they remember to brush their teeth or do
you remind them?

Do your kids oversee and manage their homework and preparations
for school tests or do you? Do you allow your kids to have FULL
responsibility for their schoolwork?

Do your kids do their own laundry and prepare their own meals
or do you do it?

Do your kids set their own alarm and take responsibility to get
themselves up in the morning or do you take the responsibility
to get them up on time?

Do your kids earn money for their wants & needs or do they just
ask you to pay for it?

Do your kids make sure they wear a warm enough coat in the
winter or do you monitor that?

Now be honest. How do you view your children? Do you see them
as perfectly intelligent and capable individuals that can do
things for themselves or do you see them as incapable dimwits
that you have to watch their every move and do everything for
them or they would not survive or get by in life. Do you realize
that every time you do something for them that they are capable
of doing for themselves (even though they may not have practiced
it or mastered it yet) that you send them the message they are
too incapable and dimwitted on their own and you don't have much
confidence in them. Ouch!

The first step to raising capable and responsibly independent
children is to change the way you see your children. Of course
if being left to themselves puts their lives in danger then you
must intercede but how much more often does it merely give them
experience which will help them make better choices in the future.
Any time you give them a new responsibility for themselves
communicate to your children that you know they are intelligent
and capable beings and can do it for themselves and you are
determined to help them develop by having them be responsibly
independent on that issue.

For example when Evelyn's children were young she monitored and
managed everything for them. Evelyn hadn't learned the
importance of responsible independence and she was tied up in
feelings of pride of how her children would look to the neighbors.
She oversaw their homework and took that responsibility for them.
When her son was in third grade she told him that she had faith
in him. She knew he was capable and intelligent and could handle
the responsibility of making sure he did his homework on time and
correctly. He enjoyed this new freedom. He didn't do so well the
next semester. He got two or three Cs because he hadn't turned his
homework in. Evelyn knew it was even more important that he learn
this life lesson or he would struggle in school all his life. When
Evelyn and her son went to his parent teacher conference and his
teacher told them what his grades were she just smiled, wrapped her
arm around her son and told the teacher that she knew her son. He
was perfectly capable of being in charge of his own homework and
making sure he got it turned in on time. Evelyn stayed out of it.
She left it to him to manage. The next semester he did a little
better and the next year he was getting good grades again only without
Evelyn's interference. For the past 14 years Evelyn has never had
to remind a child to do their homework or study for a test. Some
classes they didn't do so well in but most classes they get A's in
and they do it on their own because they are capable to do so. And
yes, your children are capable as well. If your child struggles with
learning let them learn to take the initiative to get help with their
studies as well as be in charge of whether or not they do their
homework and turn it in on time. Regardless of their age and what
consequences they will experience while they are in the learning
curve (unless its life threatening). It is not near as severe of
consequences as they will experience if they have to learn the lesson
for themselves later (when they are older).

The second thing you need to do to begin to raise responsibly
independent children is to not let your ego get tied up in your
children's performance. You have to quit worrying about what
the neighbors will think about how your children groom or how
they perform. You have to keep your priorities on your children
and their development. A favorite mantra of mine was "I love my
children more than my pride." "I love my children more than my
pride." "I love my children more than my pride." If you are
patient you will see your children go through the learning curve
and eventually come out smelling like a rose. Meanwhile you will
develop stronger relationships with your children, fulfill your
parenthood responsibility, and have more time and resources for
yourself.

It wouldn't surprise me if a lot of you were reading this and
thinking Oh I could never do that or I wish my Johnny would do
that but I know he wouldn't. Remember your responsibility as
a parent is to help your child become a responsible and capable
adult. One who can really thrive in this world. There is no
time like the present to begin.

Over the next several "Organized to Succeed at Home" Ezines I am
going to address different facets of raising responsibly independent
children. If you are a parent this will be helpful to you. It will
help you improve your productivity at home because you will delegate
so much responsibility to whom it rightfully belongs. You will be
able to get much more done with your time. Most importantly it will
boost your children's productivity. It will help them thrive in
their professional and personal lives starting immediately.

*********************Sponsor***************************

Need to get organized at the office as well? Learn
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(I've never attended a love & logic class or heard love & logic
principles but I have frequently been told that my philosophy
and approach to parenting is very similar to love & logic so
here are a few tips from them.)

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2.Love & Logic Solution
Guidelines for helping with homework.
So you don't work harder than your child.
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Set aside a time each day for family learning.

Set aside at least 30 minutes, devoted to "family brain cell
development." During this time, there should be no TV, video
games, computer games, etc.

Model your own excitement for learning by reading a book,
writing letters, etc.

Your child may learn by doing their homework, reading
about something they love,writing stories, etc.

Help only when your child truly wants it.

Some parents make the mistake of forcing help upon their
kids. This only creates frustration, anger, and kids who
believe they can't learn without their parents' help.

Help only when there's an absence of anger or frustration.

When either you or your child gets frustrated or angry,
learning becomes associated with frustration and anger.

Help only when your child can describe what the teacher said.

This ensures that your child continues to believe that
it's important to pay attention to teachers.
Unfortunately, some kids learn that it's best to "tune-out"
at school and let their parents do all of the teaching at home.

Move away from your child before he/she "gets it."

Some children believe they can only learn something,
or "get it," when an adult is in the same room or is
guiding them every inch of the way.To prevent this dependency,
avoid falling into the habit of sitting at the table as
your child does their homework, especially when they are
on the brink of learning something new.

THE CARDINAL RULE FOR HELPING:
Never Work Harder Than Your Child.

Recommended products:
Hope for Underachieving Kids:
Opening the Door to Success
with Love and Logic
Shaping Self-Concept: Encouraging
Kids to Take Risks and Learn
Love and Logic Solution:
Guidelines for Helping With Homework
So You Don't Work Harder Than Your Child!
©2002 Charles Fay, Ph.D. *
Permission granted for photocopy reproduction. Please do not alter
or modify contents. For more information, call The Love and Logic
Institute, Inc. at (800) 338-4065.America's Parenting Experts
2207 Jackson Street, Golden, CO 80401 1-800-338-4065
www.loveandlogic.com

==========================================================
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Our professional organizers can help you get your home
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3. Habit of the Week
Say to your children, "I have complete faith in you
and your ability to be in charge of your own... I know
you are a capable and intelligent individual & I
believe in you." Then teach them how to do it and let
them be responsible to do it from then on. Don't remind
or take back the responsibility just repeat this habit
with them and give them the opportunity to learn from
their experiences. They will learn.
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4. Websites to get your organized.

1. http://www.MyFavoriteContainers.com

2. http://www.ContainersThatFit.com

3. http://www.FixTheOffice.com

4. http://www.OrganizeEnterprise.com
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Articles for your publications
=======================================================
I have many articles available for reprint in your
publication,company newsletter,etc. You may use
articles written by me that you see in Organized
to Succeed. Articles I have written can be viewed at
http://www.OrganizeEnterprise.com/ezinebackissues.html
All you have to do is print the article in its entirety
along with the authors byline shown below. I would
appreciate a tear sheet or electronic copy too. Thanks

Authors Byline:

(C) 2006 Christi Youd. Christi Youd is a professional
speaker, organizer,founder & president of Organize
Enterprise LLC. She's the bestselling author of
Organize Your Home in 10 Minutes a Day and Organize
Your Office for Success. Christi presents keynotes and
seminars on organization,productivity at home and at
work,and life management. Contact her at 801-756-3382
or www.OrganizeEnterprise.com.

To subscribe to Christi's
free bi-weekly Ezine go to

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P.O. Box 876, American Fork, UT 84003
(801)756-3382
mailto:Christi@OrganizeEnterprise.com
http://www.OrganizeEnterprise.com

Christi Youd
Organize Enterprise
PO Box 876
American Fork, UT 84003 USA

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